Dear Uninvited Chin Hair,
Just who do you think you are showing up as I wiped grains of sleep from my eyes and stared blearily into the bathroom mirror? At first I thought you were an errant head hair that somehow landed underneath my chin in the middle of the night, but no, when I went to brush you away, you stayed there in all your black, curly horror.
How long have you been sneaking along underneath there, coiling underneath my chin until you reached a full centimeter or two in length? Surely you didn’t grow that much overnight. Just how many days have I unknowingly been The Bearded Lady?
Admittedly, an apology on my part is in order for the profane names I spewed at you as I tried in vain to remove you. In my defense you were a tenacious little sucker, claiming your turf through two tweezing attempts and only finally giving way on my third and final tweezing.
Sadly, Evil Chin Hair, I am well acquainted with unwanted facial hair including an errant head hair that springs out of my right eyebrow. Chin Hair, I am not one to be trifled with. I will bust out the wax and demolish you and any of your unsuspecting cousins who just so happen to be innocently meandering between my chins. So you tell ’em I’m coming and hell’s coming with me!
Sorry, I watched Tombstone the other day and have a tendency to get a little carried away.
The point, Chin Hair, is that I’m standing tiptoe on the edge of 35 and I just can’t be sprouting unwanted patches of hair for at least another ten years. So kindly pack up your follicles and leave at your earliest convenience. Meanwhile, I’ll be stocking up on waxed strips and keeping vigil against your nefarious sneak attacks.