Dear Sore Throat,

Thank you for arriving in full force today.  Yesterday you were just an aggravating tickle, meaning that I ignored you while I cleaned the house, did laundry, went to a birthday party, ate dinner out, and went to the movies.

But today you will not be ignored.  And while I prefer that you not visit at all, thank you for arriving today, a day when I had nothing on the books.  I bundled up in my bathrobe and sent Terry on an emergency Kleenex run.  I transformed the couch into a Fortress of Sickitude, complete with throat lozenges, blanket, tissue, teddy bear, and sole possession of the remote control.  Then I hunkered down for a day of napping, reading, and watching Sixteen Candles for the infinitillionth time.

Having said that, Sore Throat, I would really appreciate it if you’d pack up and leave today.  Let’s face it, you are not all that helpful when I’m trying to teach a roomful of little ones.

Sincerely,

Alicia, Queen of the Fortress