A few weeks ago my friend Abby and I decided we should host an adult prom. It’s just what it sounds like: a prom for adults. I’ll give you a minute to let it digest. You have questions. I have answers.
Q: So you hosted an adult prom Saturday night? Why on earth would you do that?
A: Why not? What better way to spend a Saturday night? And you thought you’d never pull that old prom dress out again. Wrong, my friend.
Q: Did anyone else come?
A: Surprisingly, yes. There were about 20 people all dressed up, including 1 mind-blowing plaid tuxedo.
Q: Did everyone dress up?
A: Do you really have to ask? I can describe my prom dress in two words: zebra print.
Q: Are there pictures?
A: Of course. We even had a real prom photographer.
Q: What did you do at the prom?
A: We had dinner at Red Robin, dancing in my backyard, and gave out crowns to the king and queen. The highlight for me was when Thriller came up on the playlist and one girl busted out the full Thriller dance routine.
Q: What was the most surprising part of prom?
A: Well the Thriller dance was pretty fantastic, but not as surprising as waking up two days later itching and festering. I get that this happens after prom often, but this was not that kind of itching and festering.
Q: What other kind of post-prom itching and festering is there?
A: Poison oak. Itchy, scratchy, festering, blistering poison oak. On my face, neck, hands, legs, arms, stomach, and backside areas.
Q: Um, this is getting uncomfortable…
A: You’re telling me! I’m allergic to poison oak. I’ve spent the past few days in a Benadryl fog. Not to mention the fact that I’m a glistening homage to hydrocortisone.
Q: Seriously, this is getting weird. Can we go back to talking about prom?
A: You bet. Today, as a clinic nurse was giving me a super fun shot in my nether regions, she asked “Where did you get poison oak anyway?” I pulled my pants up and replied “Prom”.
Q: Um, I have to go and do something else now.
A: Funny, that’s exactly what the nurse said.